I’m gonna punch you in the ovary.
My god-awful job continues, where I sit in a catatonic state and occasionally mix it up with drool marching down my chin. I never quite manage to tune out cult boy (who drives me Kurt Cobain with his...
View ArticleAre you trying to Garfunkel me?
Why is it every time I look like a lesbian firefighter, that’s when Metro Prince (thus renamed) does a drive-by? I mean, honestly. The days I’m coiffed and captivating, where is he? It’s getting to be...
View ArticleThat’s Hansel, he’s so hot right now.
Today I awoke looking like a cave woman, my hair between an afro and a high-five. Not as victorious as it sounds, folks. Ordinarily, this would be Gay Prince’s cue but he’s been interstate for a month,...
View ArticleHere comes the smolder.
Gay Prince made his return today, a veritable Vincent Vega in his pencil tie and Pulp suit; as welcome to me as the undies of Robert Downey Jr (on my floor come Sunday morning). And for once, I was...
View ArticleDamn the man. Save the Empire!
I feel weary. We’re talking, hiking up a pair of concrete undies with spindly Mr Burns arms, weary. Battle commander for the Alliance, stuck on a decimated planet ravaged by a decade of war, fighting...
View ArticleDo that voodoo you do so well.
I feel happy today. Like a jelly bean after a lavish spa treatment. It aint a Disney day, understand. But my undies are nevertheless alive with the sound of Cusack. The factors to my blissful briefs...
View ArticleWhat the wuc just happened?
I’m back. Like a chump who shows up to her bat mitzvah at 32. So. Um, how’ve you been? [Looks awkward and shuffles feet.] Good? You been good? Sweet Mary. The guilt I’ve felt for letting my wuc grow...
View ArticleWell, wuc me gently with a chainsaw.
So. This week’s been fairly Oliver Stone, I don’t mind sayin’. Or, as the kindly black man says to the portly, ultimately acquiescent Kellerman at the close of Dirty Dancing: lots of changes, old Max....
View ArticleWatch how good I fake it.
I met a beautiful man tonight. Beautiful in intelligence. Beautiful in eloquence. Beautiful in movie knowledge. Beautiful in spirit and garb. Ugly in unavailability. He was, quite simply: all that I...
View Articlethe wuc bytes – crazy stupid love
I feel full of pith. Like Pithy Longstocking, or Gladys Knight with a lisp. “Pith it out!” (To be whooped in titillated Tourettes.) This week, I’m doing my usual gig plus extra duties for the Big...
View ArticleGive my best to your wishful thinking.
I feel a wealth of sadness today. I’m not sure why. If I had to guess, I’d say there is desire and futility battling it out in my chest, with defeat as the veracious victor. It’s maddening that the...
View ArticleA wrecking ball… is something else entirely.
It’s come to this: I sit with a glass of red, my emotions in a rage. Love. Crippled hope. Fear. Futility. Exhaustion. Defeat. A daisy chain of disquiet. Tumultuous seas confined to the teacup that is...
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